try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
