They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I'm really busy with my period
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