Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
