just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
