I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
