I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
