I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
