Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
