i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
