Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
