i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I need moral support for this bender
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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