OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
