I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
