he wants to bone in the snuggie
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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