Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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