youre lurking in front of me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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