Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize