I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
