we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
