If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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