I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize