Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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