Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she told me i tasted like america
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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