Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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