Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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