think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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