that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
