sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
