Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
