the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
