It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
