I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
