AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
