Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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