she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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