you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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