I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
