Say something about gay babies.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
