Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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