guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
