He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
