I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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