Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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