we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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