so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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