so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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