it hurts more in the daytime
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
