do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
