idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
