i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
